It has been 579 days since my last blog post…
I am not sure what happened exactly, all I remember is that I had lots of ideas and I was really excited about my blog, the next, it had been 6 months and I had not penned a post, or logged onto my WordPress account. All I remember was that I was exhausted. Exhausted from living. No, from surviving.
May 2021 was when I last posted anything on this blog. Back then I was stuck in a job that was sucking all the lifeforce out of me. I honestly believed myself to be in a hopeless situation. The work made me miserable; I could find no joy in it. I had been there for 8 and a half years at that point, and really should have left after the first 2 years, but it was safe. Just before lockdown happened I had been off work for a while as I had a bad pain in my side and was suffering from anxiety/depression. The irony was that lockdown made my job more bearable. I could work from home, I didn’t have to see the service users or deal with them face to face. I know many people out there struggled with lockdown, but for me it was a lifeline. A rest-bite from my life. If I didn’t want to leave the house, I didn’t have too.
The problem was that lockdown did not solve the problem; it just delayed me having to face up to the situation. During 2021, I struggled to get out of bed in the morning. Going to work was torture. The only upside to the job was that I had a few colleagues that were amazing, wonderful people, who were going through their own issues and my conscience would not allow me to abandon them by going on the sick. Most of the decent people who worked their had moved on to other jobs and those who replaced them, well, (how can I say this nicely), were a bit rubbish (more than a bit actually). Work was a soul destroying nightmare and thankfully I was only part-time. The job left me so exhausted that on the days I wasn’t in work I was recovering from it.
That’s enough negativity, because my last day in that role was the 5 November 2021. I accepted a role working for my brother’s business and I have not looked back since. Trust me, working for my brother is no picnic, and it has taken me a while to get to a place where I feel as though I can face and accept challenges again, but life is better. It is good again.
I have now been in my job role for a year, things are going well, and I now feel able to start making plans again.
My plans for December are fairly simple, looking back on 2022 and looking forward to 2023.
I will also be posting my completed 50 Things Before 50 List, at some point, before the 1 January 2023 (hopefully). At the moment I have only managed to think of 20 things to add to the list, I’m in need of some inspiration.
Another plan is to go through my past posts, which are all archieved for the time being, just to see it there is anything worth reposting. If you remember I had penned a 101 Things in 1001 Days List, which I have to admit it was a bit of a disaster, but there will be an update about it.
What do you think? Not to bad for my first post in ages.
Thank you for reading, and I look forward to seeing you throughout the month.